She Never Lets Me Go

From May:


In my previous work with children at a special needs camp in New Hampshire called "Camp Starfish", I learned several de-escalation techniques for children undergoing an emotional "escalation", which often involves an outburst or an extreme withdrawal.

Although the students at Greenbrier aren't necessarily classified as having "special needs", I still use these de-escalation techniques on a daily basis when students (often under stress from their environment) require additional attention. One fifth grade student in my homework group often thrives with any one-on-one attention. He was having a particularly rough day following directions and I asked him to talk with me in the hall. He initially refused to sit within 10 feet of me and I patiently waited until he inched closer and closer to talk. This process of proximity control was one of the most crucial strategies I learned at Camp Starfish. Using phrases such as “When you are ready, I need you to sit by that door,” or “I’ll know you are ready to discuss this in a mature and calm way when you are facing me,” and “Is it okay if I move closer to you?” establishes the climate of the conversation, is calming and shows the child that you are dedicated to helping them feel better (even amongst the chaos ensuing in my homework room next to us at the time) and problem solve with them instead of for or without them.

After 10 or 15 minutes we were able to come to a decent conclusion and he seemed to be moderately calmer. However, he chose not to engage with me for the rest of the homework period. I left feeling unsure of how our conversation had impacted him.

After program ended that evening, my supervisor told me that she had asked the student how the discussion had gone between us. He said “She never lets me go.” “What do you mean?” my supervisor asked. “She never lets me go. You know…like a good friend.” 

what?

Winter Wonderland

From January:

This past Saturday, I planned and lead a Saturday "Winter Wonderland" program at Columbia Grove Apartments.

We made paper snowballs, read a book about Jack Frost, created our own rhyming winter poems, made a snowman outside, had hot chocolate with marshmallows, made our own gingerbread (graham cracker) houses and ran for our teams in a snowball relay, and took home our very own RIF books.

We had just had our first big snowfall in Virginia so the ground was covered and the timing of the theme was perfect.

I feel that the most successful activity of the day was creating our rhyming winter poems. Although the topic went over some of the children's heads, a couple of children really excelled, creating 3 and 4-verse long poems about wintertime in rhyme. In addition, we decorated our poems to look like illustrations from the Jack Frost book we had read earlier. If I had to make any changes, I might have thought of a more sustainable way to take home the gingerbread houses, as they were difficult to transport back to the individual apartments (Plastic Wrap?).

All in all, I had a great time serving with my team to put on this program, and look forward to Columbia Grove Saturdays in the future.

J

From February:

Catharsis

In February, a bright 5th grade student left our program. His mom’s unfortunate death in late January caused him to relocate to a different school district.

I was so unnerved by this experience for many weeks following the incident that I decided to write a poem addressing what I might theoretically say to him (the name has been changed).

02.22.2011
Dear Timmy

Dear Timmy
This wasn’t meant to happen.
This letter I’m writing is,
but this life you’re getting isn’t.

Dear Timmy
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that every time you left for the weekend
I had to tell you good luck and stay strong
instead of have fun
I’m sorry that I couldn’t spend the afternoon just with you
because I know you needed it more than anyone
I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you those damn crackers everyday
I’m sorry that life isn’t easy.

Dear Timmy
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t rap as well as you
play Clue everyday with you
read a whole book or two
I’m sorry that I will never know what it is
like to be you
None of us do.

Dear Timmy,
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I had to cry for you
I’m sorry there’s not the sky for you
I’m sorry she had to die on you
I’m sorry I have nothing to provide you
other than this letter and a shoulder to cry onto
This life didn’t deserve you.

Dear Timmy
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that you see death in trees.
I’ll never forget that day when you
asked me how
how can they cut it down with such ease
and leave me here on my knees.
You said just leave me, please.

But it was you who left us.
And now every time I leave for the weekend
I tell myself
Good luck. Stay strong.
He’s getting everything he needs.

Artwork

rom April:

Student Artwork

For the fundraiser, we included five pieces of student artwork in our silent auction. The five pieces needed to be named, signed, cropped, matted and framed for the auction. We formed a small committee to take the lead on this project, and I was included in that committee.

After the pieces were selected, we asked our students for permission to enter their pieces in the auction, name their pieces, and sign them. All accepted.

Then, we went to local thrift stores to find affordable frames.

Once bought, the frames were repainted and paired with each piece. Each frame/piece needed a specific mat size to be cut and each mat was pre measured to fit the custom piece.

Our executive director gave us a reference to a mat cutting store that had given cutting discounts to the wife of someone on GLC's board. We took our measurements to them and they cut our mats for us--assuring us that they'd give us a good deal.

When I went to pick up the cut mats and prepared to pay, the owner told me not to worry about payment- that what we were doing was for kids in the community and that he was happy to provide us with the service at no cost. I thanked him graciously.

The framed pieces really stood out at the fundraiser and all five students stood proudly by their pieces for pictures before all five were bought.

Success!

J with her artwork

Ballet NOVA

From March:


Since the new year (2011) and through a partnership with Ballet NOVA, a dance organization in the area, our students have spent about an hour a week learning a variety of dance styles from an instructor. Because our students are some of the most expressive kids I have ever worked with, I knew it would be a hit.

As one of my coworkers would say, however, some of our students "break late". In other words, they want to test the waters before jumping into something so adventurous.

So for the first two weeks, some of the students, especially the boys, remained tentative. Sitting in the back, glaring at the poor instructor, not sure of whether to quit altogether or go full force ahead- they avoided making an effort. I encouraged them to be role models and showcase what dancing skills they had (since we have already seen them dance before).

After more motivation and encouragement and by the third lesson, they got up and tried their best on the dance floor. Now, on our sixth week with Ballet NOVA, they work harder than ever to keep up their techniques and showcase their skills, especially during "freestyle" songs, where they can dance however they like- they prefer breakdancing.

Way to bring it, boys!

Dancers in action

My Poker face

You will notice that a lot of my reflections also come from stories about fifth graders. Fifth graders are BY FAR my biggest challenge in this service year, so success with them is a big confidence boost for me.


From February


When I am surrounded by my friends and family, I have a hard time keeping my heart off my sleeve. If I'm upset or worried about anything, it is written all over my face.

But in my time working with children (and special needs/at-risk children in particular) I've learned to better compartmentalize my emotions, especially the stress and anxiety that often accompanies classroom and large group management.

But I'm not perfect, and I sometimes wonder if I have a good poker face, especially when it comes to behavior management. During homework the other day, I finally got a little much needed feedback, and it happened to be from my most challenging female fifth grader.
This young woman is creative and expressive and loves to be right in the center of it all. In doing so, she sometimes pushes the envelope with the staff, and gets away with a lot of snide public commentary. When she was having some difficulty focusing during homework, we began to have a conversation about my expectations for her behavior.

I told her that I was finding myself becoming more and more frustrated with her at this time everyday and before I could go on to say that I needed her to try harder to be the mature, intelligent student I knew she could be, she stopped me mid-sentence.

"YOU'RE FRUSTRATED?!" she belted out.
"Yes. I am." I replied.
"But you don't LOOK frustrated at ALL!" she responded, hands in the air.
"Well. I am." I restated.

There it was. The best compliment I had ever received, at least from a fifth grader.

Over the past couple of weeks I've kept my poker face on. Our rapport has increased and we've worked diligently together to get the work done. 

student on left.

J and Tree

You'll see me post a couple of entries about a 5th grade male student, J, who left the program in February. Here is a reflection from early January.

A 5th grade student was teary-eyed at the beginning of outdoor "free choice" (outdoor play time) on Tuesday. He was staring across the street as a team of workers chopped down a large tree.

"How could they do that?" He cried.
"It is sad, isn't it..." I replied.
"THAT'S SO WRONG!" he exclaimed.
"You'll have to plant a new tree in it's memory." I said, trying to comfort him.

The student then began to tell me that it wasn't just any tree, but the biggest tree he's ever lived by. And it wasn't just the biggest tree he's lived by, but it was also his favorite tree. And it wasn't just his favorite tree. It was a tree, he said, "That me and my family have special memories with." I asked him if he wanted to share any of those memories with me.
"I don't want to talk about it," he mumbled, looking away.

"Let's do something fun to get the tree off your mind." I said, as he shook his head no.

I thought for a moment and began to sing:
"I have a friend and his name is.......Kyle
! When I look at him he always....Smiles!"
Referring to a rapping game the student and i sometimes play together. His eyes lit up.

He chimed in:
"I have a friend her name is Erin,
She makes me want to do somethin' darin.
But then I will just get in trouble,
so I go and pop a bubble!"

"NICE!" I exclaim.

As we walked inside a couple of minutes and a couple of raps later, before I could even really assess the situation with a cheesy moral about personal expression and it's impact on mood, the student read my mind and said it himself: "I'm so happy now. Rapping makes me feel so good."

Word. 

Apology

I apologize for not updating this regularly. When I work intensely with the kids all day, it's a challenge to sit at home and write about it. 

However, once a month i have to write several reports regarding my service, so I thought I would share those with you. Some are from a long time ago. And some are poor writing samples because I was rushing to make the due date. But...enjoy!


Poetry Night: RIF "Shel"ibration I love poetry, especially performance poetry. I knew that our students had the extra flavor it took to shove all insecurity aside and take to the stage. I also knew that if the shyer students put their heart into it, they would gain more confidence participating in the activity. But in the two program days working up to May 25th, our RIF "Poetry Night" celebration, I wasn't sure how we were going to have enough time to prepare the students for their poetry performances. Some students were leaving program early and not getting time to select or practice their poems. However, when one small shy and developmentally behind student got on stage to perform the Shel Silverstein poem "Tree House," I knew an impact had been made. All the students that performed, decorated, or illustrated for the poetry night did an amazing job! Some even got on stage and used improvisation to create poems about staff. One student performed a poem entitled "Erin" that her classmate wrote at school. Poetry Night was a huge success!

"Shy" student

Here is the poem entitled "Erin"

She's warm, she's fun.

She's filled with love.

She's like an angel from above.

She'll dance and sing and play tag with you.

She'll be excited about everything we say and do.

Her curls are black.

Her eyes are brown.

We're always happy when she comes around.

In math she helps us multiply and divide.

She also helps us not to be so shy!

She always pushes us to try and do our best,

So we can be well above the rest.

When she leaves we are always sad,

But knowing she's coming tomorrow makes us really glad.

written by M-F M.