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From February:

Catharsis

In February, a bright 5th grade student left our program. His mom’s unfortunate death in late January caused him to relocate to a different school district.

I was so unnerved by this experience for many weeks following the incident that I decided to write a poem addressing what I might theoretically say to him (the name has been changed).

02.22.2011
Dear Timmy

Dear Timmy
This wasn’t meant to happen.
This letter I’m writing is,
but this life you’re getting isn’t.

Dear Timmy
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that every time you left for the weekend
I had to tell you good luck and stay strong
instead of have fun
I’m sorry that I couldn’t spend the afternoon just with you
because I know you needed it more than anyone
I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you those damn crackers everyday
I’m sorry that life isn’t easy.

Dear Timmy
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t rap as well as you
play Clue everyday with you
read a whole book or two
I’m sorry that I will never know what it is
like to be you
None of us do.

Dear Timmy,
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry I had to cry for you
I’m sorry there’s not the sky for you
I’m sorry she had to die on you
I’m sorry I have nothing to provide you
other than this letter and a shoulder to cry onto
This life didn’t deserve you.

Dear Timmy
I’m sorry.
I’m sorry that you see death in trees.
I’ll never forget that day when you
asked me how
how can they cut it down with such ease
and leave me here on my knees.
You said just leave me, please.

But it was you who left us.
And now every time I leave for the weekend
I tell myself
Good luck. Stay strong.
He’s getting everything he needs.